Ok...damage check?

　

Wow...oh what a night !!! Amazing venue, Jack Whitehall hosting (hilarious!), Olly Murs singing (FIT!!!*such* a Cougar), brilliant friends, free booze, balloon modeling, photo booths, all this adds up to a FABULOUS Monday night. Happy

100th Birthday Natmags, you've certainly made me fall in love with you once again......



Me and Pavel...



 

Lydia, me and Pavel the chicken..



Now, back to the all important damage check though......

The best bit about waking up first thing this morning?

1) I woke up (Alive)

2) I was in my bed (and yes alone..)

3) changed
4) hugging the obligatory pasty wrapper...but I was in one piece. *phew*

Now, how did you get home Alice? Think...think.....think.....erm...no idea...hang on, its coming back to me.....I know, check your phone.....oh god...don't check your phone..WHY did you decide to call that person at 12.22 and then again at 12.20??what on earth was so important to call them then?? Oh, I know....OLLY MURS KISSED ME! WHOOOOPHA! Think I would've told anyone, in fact, I told everyone ! I think we'ld make a lovely couple.. "Alice Murs" it works huh? oohhh

Olly Murs

LOVES

Alice Waite

31020

4122

534

87% -----See ! He does !!

Right, back to being 30 and mature again.

So, I checked my phone and found pictures from the night - Works out that I actually got the train home, but why I decided to take 6 (yes 6) pictures of myself while on the train I'll never know, but at least I can now retrace my footsteps. Oh, maybe I took them to send to my new boyfriend Olly woggle as I like to call him.

Now...handbag check...ok, looking good...hang on...someones replaced my Dior cover up with a drumstick? Score. If there could be anything in the place of the stupidly expensive cover up a drumstick would be the 1st choice.

Right, lets do the facebook and Internet check...you're bound to have done something...ahhh, pretty safe on the Facebook...now the Internet....Marvelous, I find myself still logged on to a Olly Murs fansite..what did I think? That I could get his mobile number from the website? FYI, you cant, I have double checked.

And that, even after confirmation from friends, is it ! No crying, didn't talk to any of those five people (in fairness I couldn't find them, I remember looking at one point), didn't fall on anyone, dance off was when others were dancing, no inappropriate * winks, and no minesweeping ! Correction...there was minesweeping. Definite minesweeping, but I'm allowed one right?

* Ahh, maybe two. Please find attached pictures of myself and my Associate Publisher.



Wow...now my non midweek drinking? Im shelving it for tonight as we have a big work do...so I have already imposed some rules on myself for the evening.

1. NO dance off before anyone else is on the dance floor. Its not big, its not clever, sure its funny but they are laughing at you  Alice...not with you.
2. If you feel like the floor is moving underneath you, youve fallen on top of someone. Brush yourself off, smile, laugh, hope its a male (dont trip again) and go home
3. DONT talk to those 5 people you listed earlier...no matter how much of a good idea it is. This is not the right time to start talking to them, you will not solve any issues after the magic of tequila, and that other one? He's frankly illegal. Step away cougar.
4. Drinking. At a work do it is NEVER a good idea to minesweep. Never.
5. Do not try to charm anyone of importance, a cheeky wink will not win you a promotion. It will however win you a Tuesday morning meeting with HR.
6. Dont cry into your wine, it wont win him over with your "defenceless look"

But most important of all? You will most certainly do at least all of the 6 points listed above, just make sure you drink way too much, and make all others around you drink way too much so there will be no memory of the above.

Heres to the "Fear" tomorrow morning, HR, ill see you at 9.30 am.

Love, Hate?

While running this evening, not only have I lost all the feeling in my whole body (how cold is it? Just snow why don't you?) I've realised one important thing. I have a love hate relationship with running.

Hate

: I HATE the feeling that I get when I'm running and all I can feel is my bum bouncing up and down. It feels huge. Seriously, it's like having a bum bag (don't pretend you never had one..we all did..mine was "head"..sporty eh?)on that you've filled with all the pick and mix from woolies that you could ram in there...now try to run? Spin it around and that my friends is my bottom. Am tempted to strap it down or cut it off.

: what do you do with your arms and hands???been watching people, most keep them up high and hardly move, yet when I run I hear crys of my p.e teacher shouting at me while doing the 1500m "punch those arms Alice...punch through the air...." so at present I look like a overweight boxer

: the other female runners. I HATE them, they look gorgeous, running like gazzels, tall and lean and not one bit of sweat? Are these girls robots??

: boot camp participants..you my friends are the people that put me off my aforementioned fat boxer running. I realise I am puffing and panting and 80 year old betty is laughing at me, so take a tactical stretch, or imaginary "annoying" phone call till you bugger off with those dum bells.

: I hate the fact I feel like I can't do it. I hate being a failure and people telling me "you don't have to go ahead with it you know?"



Now, my loves...

:LOVE the outfit! Shopping for Lycra is not something anyone other than a runner should do...but boy isn't the stuff amazing?

: LOVE the fit men who now notice me, well, I do somehow seem to be doing a tactical stretch while they run past..you know how it is..really have to stretch out this hamstring on this bench, with a cheeky wink. Hell, I look the part, they don't need to know I can't run for toffee

: finally, my last love. I love the fact I'm going to do my best and prove any doubters wrong. Even if it takes 8 hours, 4 cigarettes and a cheeky vino, I will do it. Because what is life if you don't continually challenge yourself?


Oh, just one more cheeky hate? The website that told me clapham common was much larger than it actually is...rubbish.

The heat is on....

Ha..well.. I made it out, not quite after Jeremy Kyle..more after x factor repeat, and the final 3 episodes of spooks (very upset by the whole outcome, but I digress) so.. While running ..jogging/walking/hyperventilating I get a call...

"hi Alice, it's Katie from diabetes uk press office. Red magazine would like to interview you on your training and reasons behind running the marathon.. They would also like to do a photo shoot with you and the four main people supporting you through this.. You know, your trainer, husband or boyfriend, running partner...oh, and they also want to know what your doing to raise the 1,850 pounds, and we thought you had great ideas"

Right, so issues with this:

1 we all know my training hasn't really started
2 trainer?!?
3 boyfriend/husband?!? (what a bitch... Bet she's a happily married )
4 my sponsorship ideas?! Now, little issue with this, I think I mightve said that as i was a great flute player I will be busking and playing for donations at peoples weddings......

Bugger bugger bugger. So, help needed, if i get this gig I need a fake trainer, mightily fit fake boyfriend, and some fake weddings and brides so I can "play my flute" at your weddings...have a feeling my squeaky version of drunken sailor and greensleves just ain't going to cut the mustard at a real wedding.

Oh the webs we weave...this is going to turn into a very fun ride...

Proof is in the pudding people!! ..Hmmm..some one say pudding??....

So..

I've now shared.. I now need to do this? Well, tomorrow morning.. After jeremy Kyle obviously, I will be running at 11 am..so if anyone fancies s laugh at someone who runs like phoebe... All flappy arms and nothing else? I'll see you at clapham common.. H.E.L.P..

Forgot to say...

My Royal Marine brother? Place in the marathon? Nope, you guessed it, no place. So from the initial guilt trip about "the family" has actually blown up in my face. Marvellous just marvellous. Just down to me then...... Bugger.

Well well well

Now.. My training. From my initial post, I was soo enthusiastic (yet must agree it was somewhat hidden) I have done nothing..a big fat zero. I have been too "busy" with dating very unsuitable men, one that obviously doesn't like me, I don't actually like him, but am considering a second date.. Because.. Well, you should always keep your options open right? Wrong. So so wrong. Am turning into a middle aged, wine swilling, slightly tubby (as another date pointed out!) girl who tells people about the marathon as hell, it makes me feel better about myself. The big question I am faced with now? When do I realise that I need to make myself do this and stop wasting time on unsuitable men and using them as an excuse not to train!!

So, resolution for tonight (who says it's just new year eh?!)

1) get your lazy big bum out and around that common
2)only drink on a weekday if completely necessary (date with prince Harry..darn you will)
3) do NOT waste your time with boys who make no effort, and think that a "Sunday beers?" text is good enough for a date

This Alice is your challenge. Take it, run with it and if you fail? Have a fabulous excuse and make it enjoyable ;-)