Sleep deprivation...

Help me. I can’t sleep.  Truly cannot sleep. 

No...not because I’ve been running so much the adrenaline is still pumping round my veins when it comes to bed time...Oh no...it’s because I start to drift off dreaming of the marathon....

and then I start picturing the finishing line......I can see myself stumbling along and then in the big writing is the 25 mile marker...wow...you’ve nearly made it Alice...you can hear the cheers and screaming...I then look out at the crowd and at that point I see all my friends waving and shouting...I smile and wave back with tears streaming down my face..(but still looking beautiful and make up in one place...obv)and  then....... I see Jude Law in the crowd shouting above everyone else that he loves me, it was never Sienna, and now he can finally admit it.  This gives me my final burst of energy, I shout back to Jude that I love him too, and then I’m off...

Sprinting and waving at the crowds at the barriers, In my head I can hear Martine McCutcheon “This is my moment...this is my perfect ... moment”.... when I overtake Paula Radcliffe who high fives me and says that I deserve to win this more than her so she hangs back and holds the rest of the elite runners back..So I...Alice Waite...can have “my moment”.....I see the finishing line...my arms are in the air....I’m now slow mo’ing with the Baywatch theme tune blaring out....the camera’s are flashing as Jude is waiting at the finish line and scoops me up in his arms where it is announced that I have not only won the marathon, I've completed it in record time....

And  then?

I’m back in the room.  Nursing a huge blister after running only 6.5 miles, am dragging my left leg behind me while walking due to my pulled groin, and knowing full well the only person greeting me and scooping me up at the finish line is the friendly St John’s ambulance man putting me on a stretcher as people are clearing up around me.

April the 17^th you can’t come quickly enough....

P.S  Just wondering...the final picture with the medal? Should I attempt a little jump in the air or is that a bit too much?....

Weeble...

Mr "M"...do you know what? I think I met my challenge, and possibly the male version of where I was six months ago.  Dating constantly, enjoying meeting new people, but letting some people fall to the side, because, well, there was so much other fun stuff going on why put all of your effort into one person? Basically, I think he is putting all his effort into one person...but that person wasnt me! I was the girl that didnt need the effort, the food, to be seen out with, but was ok to watch a movie with.  So, I've dusted myself off, sprung up like a weeble, and have learnt by this and reacted in the mature, level headed way that only Alice knows how...

I have now "added to favourites" 35 new boys on the dating website and "winked" at too many people to mention...

Brilliant.  Heres to a new day, and fitting in some fun dates around my little jogging practice, which, BTW, has given my groin strain.

How ironic.

Night all xx

Complete write off...but tis only a glitch ! I hope.....

This weekend has been a total write off, and I have no one to blame..accept myself...oh...and Mr "M" but Ill get to that in a sec.

Now please don't all hate me....let me explain...

I had one of those truly rotten days on Friday, which kicked in at about 10 am...from that point on I knew it was going to be a shocker.  Boy oh boy was I right.  But, I figured as I told everyone I was having a bad day, so therefore I was planning to drink alot and possibly smoke....it kind of gave me reason to? And then I thought, as I had told everyone, hell, I may as well do it in style? Hmmm, and so I did.  8.30am finish and sobering up to see the empty pack of twenty in front of me (and remembering I had actually pinched some of my flatmates earlier on in the evening too).  Oh Alice, so, on Saturday, not only did I wake up (once I eventually had gone to bed) with the fear, stinking of cigarettes, and wanting to beat myself with a big nasty (sh*ty) stick for smoking I also realised there was no chance of my 10K that I had planned for that day.  But lets be fair, what are the chances of me going running after a session like that?

So this weekend, I have done...nothing.  And I'm so frustrated with myself, but I knew I was going to have a slip up, and lets be honest, it is me we're talking about, theres no point us all pretending that I'm suddenly going to turn into Mother Theresa Eh?

Now, I also wanted to update you on Mr "M", so ..I successfully completed two dates and he arranged the third for Sunday...We had planned to get a take away and watch a movie (at his, don't worry, I did text the address to nearly everyone I knew "just in case") anywhoo..so to get to his on time I would have to leave mine at 5.30..so there I am...doing my 'fro @ 5.20 when I get a text:

"Hey, I'm starving so going to eat shortly, might be worth grabbing something before you come over :-)"


Errrr, what?

We're going to have some food and watch a movie but youre going to eat now? On your own?

So once again, I don't make it to the third date (I cancelled as had no food in and hell, Im not eating my dinner on the tube just cause he's hungry at 5.30 and cant wait 50 mins)..he wants to meet up this Friday instead for a movie and some wine...I may just text him @ 6.00 pm on Friday to tell him I was bored so Ive watched the movie, drunk the drink, eaten all the food and see how he likes it.

Petty?

Yes, very.

Heres to a new week of running, no smoking, and no boys to distract me.....please let my willpower kick back in...boy oh boy do I need it....

Big Mac and Fries Please... Well...I did run to work this morning?

Just a quick one as I'm sitting in bed eating my McDonalds and quite frankly want to inhale the Big Mac that is currently winking at me.....yes I know, not brilliant for the Marathon training..but stuff it, I'm starving.

Anyway, just to quickly update you, just back from the 2nd date with Mr "M"...went to the cinema and I've learnt a couple of lessons...

1) Don't wear a cute Pencil skirt with a slit up the front...yes yes when you cross your legs it looks ever so sexy....but once a scary/gruesome part of the movie comes up..and you start hiding behind your hands and sliding down into your seat?...lets just say the said "sexy split" is now showing off your not so sexy gusset of your skin colour tights....

2) Never pick a movie that you think the guy would like (even though you are interested to see it..) but  you would 100% rather be watching a chick flick/childish movie.....as you never know, he might rather see one too ?Mr "M"... "Oh, about a month ago I went on a date and we saw Burlesque" - Marvelous, just Marvelous, I've just freaked myself out for the last 90 Min's and will have nightmares for goodness knows how long but could've actually been watching Gulliver's Travels......in 3D.....?


Here to the third date....maybe the saggy gusset didn't completely put him off....

P.S Oh and also, FYI I've met my dating match....he managed 30 first dates in 6 months.....he has certainly top trumped me...

High Fivvvvveee....the MO is back!

I've found my MO......now gonna start looking for my JO and I will be on my way people.  The rucksack can take a running jump, ran home tonight and loved every minute.  Probably the main reason is because I found a STONKING short cut so cut the distance and time down massively.........

Huh? What was that? I'm not really meant to be doing that? ooooooohhh.

But look, its really helped me, so it cant be too bad...I think the best thing is I've realised why some people run, honestly, I think that's what my main problem has been, why run when you can get in your car and get there so much quicker? Seriously.  But tonight, running home, I realised that actually running can be quicker than the tube...I am over the moon! Tonight it was bang on the length of time it took me to get to work this AM, so the decision has been made...Thursday morning I'm biting the bullet and running to work....

Wowzer, that's something I never thought I would say.

P.S Date number two with Mr "M" on Thursday night....going to the cinema...do you think he's just done that so I wont say anything stupid? Hmmm...

Lost my Mojo...

well, I haven't actually ever got my whole running Mojo...so maybe I should say I've lost my "Mo".

 I was *SO* lifted by my little run at the weekend, I realised that after giving up the cigs I could actually run/walk and not want to collapse to the floor while clutching my chest.  I could actually do it! But then, today came.  Oh my, what a killer.
I bought a great little ruck sack so I could run home from work, and take my stuff home...Genius plan right? No.  Rubbish.  Possibly my worst idea. 
You've all seen how I pack, I cant pack, so I strap on a rucksack that a Marine would be able to live for a 6 month tour with, and leave the office....I think ill start off with a light jog...WOAH, what is this? Have I suddenly taken up running on a boat? Why am I violently moving from side to side? This is meant to be a proper running rucksack, with more straps than a straight jacket yet its still doing this?

So I walk for a little bit and then try again, this time I have tightened the straps and try to run while holding them outward...picture "Knees up Mother Brown" with Braces on your trousers? Pictured it? Well, that was me with my rucksack...So, I'm holding the straps tight and slightly out, trying not to wibble wobble over, when I turn the corner and get hit with the strongest wind slap bang in the face, so much so I'm not moving anywhere.  I consider turning round to run with the wind..but obviously...completely pointless as thats where I've just come from, so, I did what Alice would do and you would all expect me to do.........
I got in a huge strop, and decided to walk to teach myself a lesson (had only made it 1/2 way along the Southbank) So, this evening, I walked home from work, about 6 1/2 miles, for no reason what so ever, while mentally beating myself up and putting myself down, and listening to Beverly Craven on loop...we are our own hardest critics huh? Am now frozen, have no feeling in my feet, am hugely disappointed in myself, my back is agony and I'm really worried about my taste of music.

But, since Ive been sitting here moaning and sulking, Ive realised this is just a down day.  Its going to take me time to be any good at this running lark, I cant expect miracles !! So, tomorrow the ruck sack can stay at home, and I'm going to give it another go.  And not throw a strop that a 3 year old would be jealous of.


Oh, I probably should say, my lack of energy might have something to do with my date on Sunday night! Nooo...not that....honestly....but it was a late night on a school night and lots of fun! But have decided I probably shouldn't say too much as I don't want to tempt fate, so all I'll tell you is, Mr "M" was on top form, a true gent, funny and pretty cute, I on the other hand:

1. was 20 mins late (bus drivers road rage = scary and frankly annoying)
2. so desperately hungover from a friends 30th it was unbelievable
3. made completely inappropriate and stupid comments throughout the night

Mr "M" - "Dame Helen Mirren is amazing isn't she? She looks so good for her age?"
Alice - "Completely! my friend and I have decided that the older you get, the more appreciative you are of the older woman..if she came on to me I would? I mean..come on, its Helen Mirren"

You "would"? Oh my sweet lord Alice.  You "would"?? You're on a date, with a cute guy, and you're saying this? Classy...

Funnily enough though he wants to see me again, lord know why...oh...maybe because he now thinks I'm into girls?!?!?! Hurrumph.

Here's to a new day tomorrow....

x

Smoke Signals -

As of now..its been

4 days 14:21.26....oh...30....oh....34....oh....38.....

Anyway..

4 days guys 4 days ! Am actually pretty chuffed with myself, gave up with the old cold turkey and signed up to the NHS stop smoking thang at Boots.  Its pretty good actually, Ive been able to stock up on patches, and they support you for as long as you need them.  Ive got my first patch on today, and in all honesty I have a stonking headache, and feel like a 12 year old after my brother had given me a dead arm.  *OUCH* But, if its keeping me off the old ciggys then its all good.  I really hope I can make it, a friends 30th Birthday this weekend will be the test.  Especially seeing as I have practically locked myself away everynight...with no booze...with the fear that I might crack ! I can see myself turning into a recluse, and that is not good for my dating year....

However, I have made the FATAL mistake of weighing myself in Boots, and can see that the Christmas turkey has certainly hit so need to keep an eye on my eating while giving up....but as I'm running now hopefully it wont be too bad? Well, have to admit, I have also planned to have a luscious cake this afternoon from Patisserie Valerie, but if you plan what you're eating I figure it cant be counted as extra calories right? (*wishful thinking*)

Right, onwards and upwards, please keep your fingers crossed for a cig free weekend....

Have a good one all xx

Very quick tip to all

The wondrous 80's pink fluffy Angel Delight? Do not eat it before you get the guilt attack and force yourself to go for your first 2011 run, it doesn't always looks so pink and fluffy...believe me....oooops....sorry Clapham Common.....

"Delightful"...or maybe not ...

Also, the NHS thang to help you quit smoking?  All they need to do is make a smoker, who's getting over a cold, go for a run and get them to remember that HORRENDOUS tight suffocating feeling you get in your chest after the smallest of runs.  When I say smallest I mean 2 miles at most and I can still feel the pain 15 mins after......

Bother bother bother.

Never start smoking people.  This stinks.

New Years Resolutions...

1. Give up smoking
2. Don't date hideous messed up men
3. Date said men, but make sure there's a good story to be told
4. Start running
5. Seriously..start running
6. Loose at least 6 pounds
7. and that's not loosing 6 pounds by buying cigs..
8. Start boot camp on Clapham Common (theres an easy £145 lost straight away..score)
9. Go skiing
10. Plan an amazing holiday to Thailand and Cambodia
11. Run run run run run..my god...do you realise I have to run a marathon in a few months? Seriously? a MARATHON, its not a couple of laps round the school and the car park...sweet mother of g.. what have I done?!

Update.....

Didn't smoke past 2am on NYE...but then had a cheeky one this evening I'm afraid. BUT, its because I don't have the plaster things, the electronic cig, and the gum.  Marvellous, I'm going to be chewing tobacco..literally, putting my "plasters" on cuts as if they were Barbie ones, and trying to light my electronic Cig while out on the p*ss.  You can see it now eh?

Please keep your fingers crossed for me this week ! I will start afresh tomorrow...well...tonight is just a little blip eh?