2010!

Ok...so yes, I admit it, I was a little down last night, so it it set me of athinking about failure etc.....  Yet today Ive been thinking even further...and then it hit me, whoah whoah whoah Alice, why so sad about this recent date going wrong? Look back at 2010 and see how much fun you've had !! And this is down to you putting yourself out there, and giving dating a go....and boy oh boy did you give dating a go...

You've been to some amazing places, gigs, fabulous meals out, theatre, Albert Hall, bars, more bars, even more bars, Zoo, another bar, cooked dinners in, oh, and another bar.  And its been GREAT!

Then I thought I'd test myself, and remember the wonderful men *ahem*...and some of their fantastic final parting words...and what a mix they have been, I certainly don't have a type that's for sure! So, out the Filofax came, and here's some of my memorable people on the list...see if you can remember any of these...I know some reading will...don't worry..no names..promise ;-)

• Revolving door moment when I went back to the ex.  Girls, you were right, you're always right, he's is an ex for a reason! Just took me three goes to realise!
• The guy who proudly told people "I couldve got her back to mine easily that night" - hmm, but the whole point is you didn't did you? Prat
• The man who said our friends are too different, so there was no way we could have a relationship
• "Ill just hurt you Alice...."
• "Sunday Beers?" text - err, how about no?
• Helping a lovely man realise...that actually he's still completely in love with his ex
• The gorgeous man that I drunkenly accused of tripping me up when I actually tripped over my own foot in the middle of Carnaby Street...the same night that someone in the pub nearly glassed me (by accident) so had white wine all over my face and top. That was the first sign to go home ! sorry for this BTW you know who!!
• Water date boy "I thought I'd get you water in a glass...slightly more classy than drinking it out of a bottle" (as I had a bottle of water from earlier in my hand) who then made the hideous evening drag on even more so I could buy him another apple juice...with straw please..so it was fair as we then both bought a drink
• The dude who let his kitten jump on my face and scratched my eye and face so it bled, and then shouted at me and said it was my fault as I mustve been winding the little ball of fluff up
• And then my personal favourite, after a quick drink with a guy I met on the underground (train guy he shall now be known as), I ordered my kebab with a nod of my head, and then got a backie to my flat on a young mans electric wheelchair.  *THAT* my friends, was a fun, memorable night

So, the basics is, 2010, as much as I say I'm glad you're over, and I cant wait till 2011, actually, you've been pretty freaking brilliant and I thankyou for all of the above.  I *SO* cant wait till 2011,

Bring.It.On.

xx

For my own fun and entertainment...

Brilliant new game I tried this morning on the tube...especially good after a pretty "weighty" Christmas...

Pick a seat...not just any seat...preferably the one at the end by the glass partitioning of a very busy row....then sit down as hard as you can and see how many people you can make do their own Mexican wave.  I only had two today, but the best bit was trying to keep a straight face when the lady next to me literally sprung out of her seat and looked at me in disgust.

Have a go, guaranteed to cheer you up on the journey to work.

x

best thing

about being upset is realising that you have people all around you. Seriously, sometimes you feel so so alone, but by the wonders of facebook, text, or twitter you realise you're not ! Who said social networking is a curse!

This evening I've had a real closure evening, but as someone said to me earlier, I run away from things so I don't have to deal with the heartbreak. This is true, but sometimes I put myself out there, because, well, I know I'm going to get hurt, but I keep on giving people one more chance.

Anyway, you know what, you can come out of all of this a much more positive person.  You make yourself stronger, you are here to be good to people, but don't let people walk all over you....but you also know who are the most important people in your life. And by god, you get in touch with people that you've only seen and met a few times in your life, and they end up knowing you so so well and being so valuble and important to you, I LOVE social networking my friends! I am a computer geek...and proud !! (School Disco peeps, you're still here....YAY!10 years huh!)

At the end of the day, you  know you all are important to me. No matter how we met,  whether you are a constant in my life or whether we met at school (when in fairness we probably didn't get on!)  All you have to know is I value everything you say to me, have said to me, and your presence in my life. As unfortunately, you guys are what make me.  That's it. Its your fault you fuckers ...*ahem*
So thankyou all, this will be my last serious blog, roll on 2011 when we can all look to the future and not look back in the past.

Big love to all, god I cant wait till work tomorrow......

Beer Goggles

I've realised after my Birthday night out, that Beer Goggles are playing a bigger part in my life than I have ever realised.  No matter what you call them, "Beer goggles", "Cider Visor" or my favourite, "Stella vision", we all suffer my friends. 

You may be mistaken that I am talking about yet another of my dating disasters...this time however I am not, this my friends is what I suffer with...but with myself.  You know that feeling, putting on more make up after work, look at yourself and think "Yes, I look HOR-REN-DOUS, seriously...make up is caked on, but hey, gotta work with what you've been given eh", so you suck it up, go to the pub, stand in a dark corner and tell yourself you will leave that said pub before the lights come up.  But no, you then find yourself sinking a couple of vinos, maybe a cheeky Jager, and then you have to give in to the need of taking that fateful first pee...you all know the one. Anyway, so there you are, slightly swaying, finding everyone exceptionally amusing, but hang on, you have some how been trained up in the Jack Dee way of thinking and *my word* you are hilarious, no kidding, Jack Dee should be taking note from you right now not the other way  round.  You take those steps down the stairs (yup, I am thinking of the White Horse Natmagers), giggle at yourself when you slightly slip and jump the rest of the way missing 3 steps *my god you're cool*, then go to the bathroom, wash your hands, look in the mirror.....

Now WHO is this goddess staring back at me? Seriously, your make up is on perfectly, you've got a slight smudge at the corner of your eye...but that's just sexy right? Cheeky little glow to the cheeks, niiiiiice, maybe even give yourself a slight wink....go get em tiger.....

Yet, in reality, your Beer Goggles are working...on yourself.  How wrong is this? Alcohol is actually making you look more attractive to yourself.  We all know that actually that shockingly huge zit that came out of nowhere this morning is gleaming like a beacon, practically directing the planes in, your nose resembles a 70 year old whisky drinkers (why does it grow and go red?), and your teeth? Are you kidding me? Yes, Greyge is the colour to be wearing..but on your nails ladies...not your teeth, and it certainly doesn't match your current ribena smile no matter how much you convince yourself.


Upon this I have decided, I will either:

1. Give up drinking forever
2. Stop looking in mirrors
3. Make everyone drink more so we all have beer goggles on? 

I am going to bed pondering these three options...lets hope I decide on number three.  Hell, its Christmas right?

How things change!!

8.45 - Friday the 17th December

So, here I am...the night before my 31st Birthday...and Im sitting in bed, alone (all flatmates are out), in my PJ's after enjoying a delux dinner of baked beans and sausages on toast (with red leicester stirred through..top tip) and
having had a bath.  And its still quarter to nine?! Wow.  Proof that actually my life isnt as rock and roll you all thought it to be eh?

Its caused me to think though.  I dont actually have an issue with turning 31 per se, I have an issue of only now really getting to know myself and feeling comfortable in myself, and feeling that those earlier years were slightly wasted? Well, not wasted, just couldve been handled and dealt with *so* much better.  I feel sad that I may have hurt people along the way, and thats not me, and then feel sad when I realise Im not in the place other people think I should be or would want me to be you know?  Yet no matter how many times I say to others just how much happier I now am, I dont think they ever quite believe me ! Well, how could she be happy eh? Shes soon to be 31, single, living in a rented house with 3 other people...and they're strangers *gasp* and lets be honest..we can all hear the loud ticking of her body clock...

Well my friends, it is true! Yes, I do have those down moments, thinking what if? Dont we all? and I know that when I was a spotty, horrible, moody 14 year old, I never imagined I would be where I am now, nearly 31 and living in this rented house.  In fairness though, when I was a spotty, horrible, moody 14 year old I couldnt see past my Metalica music and purple DM's, infact, I should be blooming greatfull to have made it out of that Era. Dark times people, dark times...I still cant bring myself to look at purple hair dye to this day.  But I digress, my life is amazing right now, and I wouldnt change a thing.  If I look back to 21 year old Alice, I never wouldve moved or had the desire to go to London, all I really ever (thought) I wanted was to get married, and have children.  If I am lucky enough for this to happen to me, great!, but if not? Thats not the only thing I was put on this world for.  Granted, from  the way I've been acting recently you would be let off for thinking the main reason I was put on this earth was to drink the bar dry, and to turn dating into a Olympic sport, but this is just where Im at the moment, why? because I can ! I can stay out still the early hours partying, I can decide at the drop of the hat to go away for the weekend, I can decide not to shave my legs for a *week in the winter (WHOOP!!), and I can unashamedly admit that sometimes I do just need to run home to mum and dad and camp out there and not talk to anyone.  And I love this, and I love my life.


So, even if the younger version of myself would be heartbroken to see me sat in, on my own, on a computer the night before my Birthday? The 30/31 year old version of me, is pretty darn happy and contented that I'm cuddled up in the warm, in my teddy bear Pj's, and looking forward to 9.30 pm when Im going to get down with my bad self and make a hot chocolate. HIGH FIVE!!

Plans for my 31st Year...

1. Train for the marathon
2. Complete the marathon before either the human catapillar or the 90 year old, dressed in full scuba grear, and running backwards
3. Give up smoking - preferably before the marathon...but definately after New Years Eve..come on..no need for added pressure right?
4. Have a month off booze (planing this for March...please dont let anything good be lined up for March...hell, I can ammend the month?)
5. Go to visit my chum in Cambodia, and doing so get on another plane on my own (pertrified!!)
6. Take as many legal drugs as possible for said plane trip on own
7. Make sure you are actually allowed on the plane as youve taken so many legal drugs to get you there
8. Be there for everyone and anyone who ever needs me, and be positive, but remember that everyone has those shut the door with your chocolate and wine moments...so dont beat yourself up when you have them
9. And finally, embrace every twist and turn thats thrown at you

Right, am off for a ciggy and a hot chocolate....night all, heres hoping that I dont wake up looking like one of those wrinkly dogs you see on postcards.

*Month ;-)

Full of Excuses Alice....

Ok, everyone say's admitting it to yourself is the first step...so here goes....I am a sorry excuse for a runner.  I had a brilliant run on the 27th...ran round Battersea Park...seriously, at one point I wanted to high five the other runners while screaming "Look at me" until I looked at my clever little GPS tracker....turns out that my running was only ONE minute faster than my walking?!? What? Am I running backwards? Sideways? Or, am I infact doing the "girlie crossing the road thing" yet for longer?....you know the one..its where us girls in heels suddenly lose any normal walking stride, and start doing this wierd pigeon stepped jumpy run/walk as soon as you have to cross the road while not not being at a crossing...usually accompanied by screaming, giggling and crys of nearly being run over and "I saved your life!".  

Gosh, if I am doing that around Battersea no wonder people look at me oddly?

Anyway, I am currently trying to convince myself that I am, in fact, a very fast walker, yet I know that I am, once again, making up excuses.

This has now thrown me completely off my training, I havent been out once since, yes, the snow has helped that decision not to put on tight but very cold lycra, but in all honesty it has knocked my confidence.

Also what hasnt helped is that someone told me that I can lose all of my toenails running, get bleeding nipples, and a few people actually pee themselves at the end of the race.

WHAT?? Kidding right? What a vision I now have of myself....Bloodied on the top half, smelling of urine, and my lovely white Asics not so lovely and white anymore.  Wow, now I am really looking forward to it, and I bet you all cant wait to support me eh?  Please do though, I cant promise not to pee on you, but I can promise you I need as much support as I can get.

Big Bro, the things your little sister will do for you eh?


Sheesh.