How things change!!

8.45 - Friday the 17th December

So, here I am...the night before my 31st Birthday...and Im sitting in bed, alone (all flatmates are out), in my PJ's after enjoying a delux dinner of baked beans and sausages on toast (with red leicester stirred through..top tip) and
having had a bath.  And its still quarter to nine?! Wow.  Proof that actually my life isnt as rock and roll you all thought it to be eh?

Its caused me to think though.  I dont actually have an issue with turning 31 per se, I have an issue of only now really getting to know myself and feeling comfortable in myself, and feeling that those earlier years were slightly wasted? Well, not wasted, just couldve been handled and dealt with *so* much better.  I feel sad that I may have hurt people along the way, and thats not me, and then feel sad when I realise Im not in the place other people think I should be or would want me to be you know?  Yet no matter how many times I say to others just how much happier I now am, I dont think they ever quite believe me ! Well, how could she be happy eh? Shes soon to be 31, single, living in a rented house with 3 other people...and they're strangers *gasp* and lets be honest..we can all hear the loud ticking of her body clock...

Well my friends, it is true! Yes, I do have those down moments, thinking what if? Dont we all? and I know that when I was a spotty, horrible, moody 14 year old, I never imagined I would be where I am now, nearly 31 and living in this rented house.  In fairness though, when I was a spotty, horrible, moody 14 year old I couldnt see past my Metalica music and purple DM's, infact, I should be blooming greatfull to have made it out of that Era. Dark times people, dark times...I still cant bring myself to look at purple hair dye to this day.  But I digress, my life is amazing right now, and I wouldnt change a thing.  If I look back to 21 year old Alice, I never wouldve moved or had the desire to go to London, all I really ever (thought) I wanted was to get married, and have children.  If I am lucky enough for this to happen to me, great!, but if not? Thats not the only thing I was put on this world for.  Granted, from  the way I've been acting recently you would be let off for thinking the main reason I was put on this earth was to drink the bar dry, and to turn dating into a Olympic sport, but this is just where Im at the moment, why? because I can ! I can stay out still the early hours partying, I can decide at the drop of the hat to go away for the weekend, I can decide not to shave my legs for a *week in the winter (WHOOP!!), and I can unashamedly admit that sometimes I do just need to run home to mum and dad and camp out there and not talk to anyone.  And I love this, and I love my life.


So, even if the younger version of myself would be heartbroken to see me sat in, on my own, on a computer the night before my Birthday? The 30/31 year old version of me, is pretty darn happy and contented that I'm cuddled up in the warm, in my teddy bear Pj's, and looking forward to 9.30 pm when Im going to get down with my bad self and make a hot chocolate. HIGH FIVE!!

Plans for my 31st Year...

1. Train for the marathon
2. Complete the marathon before either the human catapillar or the 90 year old, dressed in full scuba grear, and running backwards
3. Give up smoking - preferably before the marathon...but definately after New Years Eve..come on..no need for added pressure right?
4. Have a month off booze (planing this for March...please dont let anything good be lined up for March...hell, I can ammend the month?)
5. Go to visit my chum in Cambodia, and doing so get on another plane on my own (pertrified!!)
6. Take as many legal drugs as possible for said plane trip on own
7. Make sure you are actually allowed on the plane as youve taken so many legal drugs to get you there
8. Be there for everyone and anyone who ever needs me, and be positive, but remember that everyone has those shut the door with your chocolate and wine moments...so dont beat yourself up when you have them
9. And finally, embrace every twist and turn thats thrown at you

Right, am off for a ciggy and a hot chocolate....night all, heres hoping that I dont wake up looking like one of those wrinkly dogs you see on postcards.

*Month ;-)